So… This is Christmas?

Christmas with a chronic illness, hard to plan, a stressful build up and… Rather anticlimactic! This year I chose to keep it low key, I didn’t so much as over-eat, thinking this would cut down on the stress element. Instead it seems to have made me miss Christmas, it’s over before I really felt it had begun.

As it is I am feeling left out. No great event, one nice outfit, a few presents, not even an over full stomach, no trips out for meals or sparkling parties and now? Absolutely nothing for the new year.

Surely this time of celebrations and resolutions is enough to make anyone feel a bit of an under-achiever compared to the ‘ideals’ we believe are possible. The perfect family meal, the gift that’s just what you wanted and a new year promise to yourself that is fulfilled before the end of January. Who wouldn’t feel disappointed by what is often the reality of stress fuelled arguments and the realization that, although you might have a page long list of things to achieve in the following year, the year that’s almost over probably hasn’t gone quite as your last list planned… Thing is, if you’ve got an illness to factor in to all this it seems it can only get worse. Recently I seem to have been incapable of remembering anything. No surprise, then, that I’ve completely forgotten my 2015 goals and resolutions and have decided to not even bother for 2016. Illnesses are unpredictable. Life itself is unpredictable. So why do we choose to lay out a plan each year we know that we will later unfavourably judge ourselves against?

Really, it’s just another day but… If you look at it that way you feel miserable like you’re missing out so I suppose, once again, it has to be about balance. For me, no midnight parties in a slinky glitter coated dress tonight but I did make a heart with a sparkler wearing a coat over my pyjamas.

It’s all relative, I guess.

Have the best 2016 you can,

Sakara

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